


Yaku's No Good Very Terrible Bad Day

by LatinMayonnaise



Series: Canon Compliant HQ!! Stories [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Kuroken are dating and everyone still thinks they're pining, M/M, Yaku is having a bad time but that's what team mom's are for, can you tell by this that nekoma is my favorite team?, kinda crackfic, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:34:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26892274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LatinMayonnaise/pseuds/LatinMayonnaise
Summary: Yaku knew that for all the thinking and strategy that went into the way the Nekoma team worked it was surprising for outsiders to figure out that his team shared a single brain cell outside of matches and most of the time they forgot the brain cell was even there so it wasn't used at allBut today? Today those motherfuckers were testing his patience.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, a line of levyaku of you squint
Series: Canon Compliant HQ!! Stories [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1962001
Comments: 10
Kudos: 123





	Yaku's No Good Very Terrible Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

> This is a thing I wrote in one sitting probably at 4am laying in my bed thinking why did my brain pick haikyuu as my main source of serotonin at this pandemic... 
> 
> Enjoy Nekoma being dumbasses with bonus grammatical errors

Yaku knew that for all the thinking and strategy that went into the way the Nekoma team worked it was surprising for outsiders to figure out that his team shared a single brain cell outside of matches and most of the time they forgot the brain cell was even there so it wasn't used at all. He knew that, he accepted it since his first year. It was the curse of Nekoma.

But today? Today those motherfuckers were testing his patience.

It all began at morning practice, it was a day like any other. Except apparently it wasn't since Fukanaga finally noticed something different, something that if you asked Yaku wasn't different at all. He wouldn't ask, it wasn't his business to ask, so he just put two and two together not searching for confirmation but assuming it was a little true nonetheless.

Kenma and Kuroo were dating. Did they tell him that? No. But it was in the soft touches and looks, in the whispers and smiles. Yaku also knew that Kuroo was dating someone since at least their first year just because of the fact Kuroo wouldn't shut up about it. The other thing was that they weren't trying to really hide it, they just didn't scream it from the top of their lungs.

The rest of the team could not see this apparently and in that faithfull morning they all decided to use their shared brain cell to come to the wrong conclusion.

"Guys, did you see that?" Yamamoto said in a failed hushed tone to the little group that was just a few feet away from Kenma and Kuroo.

"Yes! Do you think they..?" Lev wiggled his eyebrows.

Looking at the direction Yamamoto briefly pointed at, his eyes met the pair talking. Kenma had a slight blush as Kuroo smiled and finished tucking a strand of blond hair behind Kenma's ear. The blush was probably because they were running not even five minutes ago and not because of Kuroo, but if it did the job to make them notice it was fine. Yaku sighed, finally they noticed it. He just hoped it wouldn't consume their whole attention.

He gave them too much credit too soon.

"I have always thought they were pinning for each other but holy shit." Fukunaga said.

_ Ah, there it was. They were so dumb. _

Kai let out a laugh and this was enough to inform that he wasn't going to share the theory that the couple was already together. Yaku made the terrible decision of doing the same.

"Do you think they even know they are pinning?" Inuoka smiled, glancing again at the pair.

"Nobody can say anything anymore! This calls for a bet." At this, Yaku looked at Yamamoto with a look that just said 'Why?'.

And there it was, the regret of his terrible decision a few seconds ago.

"100 yen that they don't know they have feelings for each other." Fukunaga said instantly.

"110 yen that they have been aware of the pinning since their pre-teens." Lev smiled, proud of his prediction and thinking he was going to win.

"120 yen that they are on the stage of flirting but in denial about it." Yaku was not going to lie, Yamamoto had a very strong bet.

"100 yen that they just started dating, like not even a month ago." That was a strong one too so Inuoka had a chance.

"140 yen that they were dating before they knew us." Yaku got whiplash because of the movement he made at the sound of Kai's voice. The betrayal.

It's going to be like this? Fine. If he was going to suffer through to this he was going to get money out of it.

"200 yen that they have been dating since a little after the beginning of our first year.

"Damn, Yaku-san, you really sure of your bet, huh?"

"Maybe." Yaku rolled his eyes at Lev "Can we get to practice now and not gossip about the love life of our captain?" Turning his body to the direction Kuroo was still talking with Kenma, he screamed "Oi! Captain! You done flirting or we aren't going to practice today?"

Kuroo had the decency to look embarrassed. Good.

* * *

For some reason, Kenma and Kuroo were walking with him to his class after morning practice. This meant they knew something or they were planning something. If volleyball wasn't his life he would quit this team so fast they gave him a headache.

"So," Kuroo began "we heard a little something before practice. A bet maybe."

Apparently, they not only knew but were planning something. Great, just fucking great. Yaku just dignified a sigh as a response.

"Do you want to win the money?"

"I know I'll win the money, it's only up to you when to reveal it for me to win."

Kenma looked up from his game to analyze Yaku's expression with caution. He put up the smallest of smiles, just a twitch at the corner of his mouth.

"How do you know that?" Kuroo asked.

"You said you started dating someone a couple months into our first year, someone you've liked since you were a child. You and Kenma are always together and act like a married couple 99% of the time. And there is no way Kenma would not know he has feelings for you, overanalyze the situation and come to the conclusion that you probably like him too and start dropping hints so you'd confess first and confirm his thoughts."

Kenma let out a small laugh, turning back to his game "That's pretty spot on."

"Just because of you acting like a little smartass, I'm going to act all over the place today and make them question everything they thought they knew and you know who is going to suffer from their panic." Kuroo stopped walking and smirked diabolically.

"Don't you dare."

"Sorry, Yaku, I can't hear you from this height." And he walked away with Kenma right beside him.

_ Fuck. _

* * *

Yaku thought he could take a moment of peace before hell broke loose at practice later. How wrong he was about the determination of Kuroo to fuck with his day.

In a small break between classes, the bane of his existence that was Haiba Lev came looking for him with a frantic look in his eyes. This could not be good. Why did God make him the mother of a whole team of idiots? He was too young for this kind of stress.

"What do you want?"

"I heard a very interesting conversation."

"That's great, Lev, maybe I'll never call you stupid again because of this! You're smart enough to do the basics and somehow communicate. Good for you, buddy." He said in the most condescending way he could.

"Yaku-san! That was uncalled for."

"Was it?" Seeing that Lev's pout just got bigger, he sighed and rolled his eyes. No matter how much effort he did to hide it, Yaku had a soft spot for this tall child "What was the conversation about?"

"Oh! Yeah!" His pout finally went away and Lev smiled "I was just minding my own business and then I heard Kenma-san and Kuroo-senpai talking about something that seemed serious. I didn't listen that much because that would be rude but I heard them having a fight? Kinda? Talking about feelings or something. Does that mean I won the bet? They are aware of the feelings but something is making them stay apart." He stayed silent for a second before gasping "Do you think it's their families?! Or maybe they're worried for their friendship-"

Yaku stopped listening after that, his brain only focusing on all the ways he could kill Kuroo after this. He knew Lev was listening. He knew who would have to listen to Lev's theories. This was such bullshit, Kuroo didn't deserve death. He deserved torture.

* * *

The whole day went like this, with his teammates telling him about all the things Kuroo and Kenma did and how they probably lost or won the bet. And when practice came and they all exchanged information, hell finally broke free.

"What do you mean you won? They're so clearly not aware!"

"I'm sure they were flirting!"

Kai looked between the others and Yaku, like he was waiting for him to explode in rage from all the ruckus that was created. He was totally right and maybe God was finally smiling upon him, because this was the moment that the door of the gym opened to reveal Kuroo walking in.

Above all the others screaming, Yaku's voice was way higher.

"FINE KUROO YOU WIN!" Everyone stopped, they could hear a pin drop in that silence. Quickly confusion began to rise when Kuroo let out a laugh "End my suffering and I'll never be a smartass again. I can even give you the money."

Kuroo took his time to get to Yaku, long legs walking incredibly slow.

"Ah, so mom is tired of his children going nuts over the bet about his two teammates?"

Some of the others made surprised sounds, finally catching on what was happening. Others were interrupted by Kai's hand making a move to silence them and point their attention to Yaku and Kuroo.

"Yes."

"Did I hear a 'please'?"

"No, you didn't. If you want to press I can end your smugness right now and ask Kenma to do it." Yaku raised an eyebrow and smiled when he saw Kuroo's smile drop for a second "So?"

"Yaku is right, you all lost the bet. I have been with kenma since June of my first year." Lev opened his mouth but Kuroo continued "There was almost no pinning from Kenma's part because he is smart, I had a whole crisis for almost a year. And last thing, we weren't hiding, you guys are just dumb."

"It's true, they have literally kissed in court once." Kai shrugged.

"Oh, so that was a kiss last year." Yaku said.

"Wait what?!" Yamamoto screamed looking at Kuroo with wide open eyes.

"Like I said, we weren't hiding." The door opened again and Kenma walked in, Kuroo grinned and said louder than before "Now that you guys know, you can help Kenma do a beautiful chemistry themed proposal when he finally decides to propose to me." 

"I'm not doing that, Kuro." Kenma's monotone voice got closer with every word until he was standing beside Kuroo "And what makes you think that I want to marry you someday?"

"You wound me, Kitten." Kuroo turns to his boyfriend, grin still in place "What if I design a whole game just to propose to you?"

The rest of the team was still in shock, staring at the couple without knowing what to do.

"I'm surprised you didn't say anything volleyball related."

"Would you say yes if it was volleyball related?"

"Not really, but it's you so I would say yes anyway." And just like that Kenma walked away, with Kuroo going after him a little flustered and whispering something none of the others quite got it.

Yaku looked between his team and clapped his hands, getting their attention off the couple "So… Everybody, pay up." He said with a smile.

And while he colected his winnings, he had a simple thought:

_ Maybe that day wasn't that bad. _

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed it. I jave so many headcanons for haikyuu ships it's concerning
> 
> Leave a comment and kudos if you want I like those a lot
> 
> edit: If you want to see Kuroken actually getting together i wrot it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26946928)


End file.
